Paleo and Keto Recipes I Love, part 2

Hey folks, good to see you again. I’d like to share a few updates before we get into recipes. First, my weight loss plateau is over! The culprit? Alcohol, of course. Since I decided to cut the beer and mixed drinks from my diet completely, I went down 5 pounds in about 3 weeks, and it’s not slowing down yet.

The next update is that Josh and I finally put in a deposit for our wedding catering, and to our delight, we managed to find the ONLY paleo caterer in our entire city, the Caveman Cafeteria. We’re super excited about it and can’t wait to plan all of the delicious foods we’re going to eat.

Alright! Now, part two of my list of favorite recipes for low-carbers, cavemen and cavewomen, and ketards who like a good pizza every now and then. Enjoy!

  1. Keto Cream Cheese Pizza – trust me, this is delicious. Pre-heat your oven to 375 F. Soften 8oz. full-fat cream cheese and blend it together with two eggs, 1/4 C. grated parmesan cheese, 1 Tbsp. powdered garlic and 1 tsp. salt until the mixture is soft and mostly lump-free. Spread the mixture onto a pre-greased pan, and stick it in the oven for 18 minutes, or until the outside edges are crispy and the middle is lightly browned. Take it out and let it rest for 5 minutes. Top with any of your favorite pizza toppings (we usually do cooked italian sausage with olive oil, spices and mozzarella). Turn the heat of the oven up to 400, put the topped pizza in and cook for another 8 minutes, or until your cheese is good and melty. Remove, cut into whatever size slices you like, and enjoy!
  2. Keto and Paleo Sautéed Rainbow Chard – Buy a big, leafy bunch of rainbow chard. Remove the thick stems and cut those into 1-inch pieces, set aside. Cut or tear the chard leaves into small pieces and set aside. Cut up one yellow onion and mince 5-6 garlic cloves.  In a pan, cook up 3 slices of bacon until slightly crispy; save the fat, chop the bacon into small pieces and set aside. In another pot, heat 2 Tbsp butter on medium-high and put the onions and garlic in there to cook until translucent/fragrant. Add some crushed red pepper for a spice kick if you like that sort of thing. Next, add the chard stem pieces and let them cook with the onions and garlic for 5 minutes. Then, add the chopped bacon, bacon fat and chard leaves into the pot. Stir together and let them cook on medium-low for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The leaves should be wilted but still a dark, vibrant green. Salt to taste and enjoy!
  3. Keto or Paleo Kale Chips – This is the really basic version of kale chips. Feel free to explore with different flavors and seasonings to make a chip you really enjoy! Purchase a large bundle of kale, wash and dry. Preheat your oven to 350. Lightly grease a cookie sheet with butter. In a microwave-safe bowl, heat 2 Tbsp. virgin coconut oil until completely melted. Toss the coconut oil with the kale in a large mixing bowl until all of the leaves are completely covered, then add 1/2 tsp. salt and mix well. Spread the kale leaves evenly across the pan and cook for 10-15 minutes, or until the chips are crisp to the touch. Enjoy as a snack, or as a side dish for any meal.
  4. Keto or Paleo Oven-Roasted, Bacon-Wrapped Drumsticks – This one takes a little while, so make sure you’re not starting it when you’re already hungry or in a rush. You’re also going to get a little greasy, so don’t wear anything you wouldn’t mind wearing while doing your chores. Line a cookie sheet with tin foil and pre-heat your oven to 350. In a large mixing bowl, mix 5-6 drumsticks, 1/4 C. melted coconut oil, 1 tsp. chili powder, 1 tsp. garlic powder, 1 tsp. salt and a dash of fresh-ground black pepper. Mix those things together until the drumsticks are nicely coated, then take one slice of bacon per drumstick and wrap it around the stick, starting at the thin bony portion and working your way around. Line the wrapped sticks up evenly on the cookie sheet and cook them for an hour, flipping once at 30 minutes.
  5. Paleo Cinnamon-Coated Purple Sweet Potatoes – Purple sweet potatoes have become a weekly staple for Josh and I. These can usually be found at Whole Foods or in the organic section of your grocery store. Pick up one potato if it’s just you, or two if you’re sharing with someone. Pre-heat your oven to 350. Wash the potatoes well, then cut them into 1/2-inch circular slices, then cut those slices in half. In a large mixing bowl, coat the potatoes in 1/4 C. melted coconut oil and a dash of salt. Wrap the potato pieces in tin foil, place on a cookie sheet and cook them for 1.5-2 hours. Once they’re done, remove them from the tin foil and sprinkle them lightly with cinnamon. Trust me, they’re worth the wait!
  6. Paleo Butternut Squash Soup – This is an all-day recipe, so get it ready the night before and turn the crock pot on before you leave before work! Cut one large butternut squash in half and roast it in the over at 375 for 30-45 minutes, or until it’s nice and soft enough to scoop out of the shell. While that’s roasting, cut up two fuji apples and one peeled carrot into small pieces. Grate a fresh piece of ginger root until you get about 1/4 C. Fill the crock pot with 4 C. chicken stock, along with the apples, carrots and ginger. Add 1 Tbsp. ground cinnamon and mix well. Once the squash is done roasting, scoop it out and put the pieces into the crock pot. Let it cook for at least 6-8 hours on low heat. 30 minutes before serving time, put the soup in a blender or food processor and add 1/2 C. almond flour. Mix well. As you let it cook for the last 10 minutes, fry up some bacon until it’s crispy and crumbly. Pour the soup into bowls and top with bacon. Yum!
  7. Simple Paleo or Keto Roasted Pork Chops – This is super easy but quite delightful. Coat some  pork chops with a favorite spice blend–I tend to like Jamaican Jerk and Cajun seasonings–and roast in the oven at 375 for 30-45 minutes.
  8. Paleo or Keto Fudge – What?! Fudge? Yeah, my mouth is watering too. In a sauce pot heated to medium-low, cook 1/2 C. coconut oil with 1 Tbsp. unsweetened coco powder and 1/2 Tbsp. stevia (you can always add more if your sweet tooth is howlin’). Melt and stir until fully incorporated. Then, add 2 Tbsp. almond butter and mix until completely melted and clump-free. Line a small plate or tupperware container with wax paper and spread the mixture evenly. Cool in the fridge for at least an hour, then break of a piece and enjoy!
  9. Paleo or Keto Roasted Fennel Bulb – Get a nice, big bulb of fennel, cut off the stems and set them aside. Preheat your oven to 350 and grease a cookie sheet. Cut the bulb into quarters, then peel the layers apart. Coat them with olive oil, salt and black pepper. Lay them evenly on the cookie sheet, then take the tiny little fennel leaves from the stems and spread them across the bulb pieces. Cook for 20-25 minutes, or until the bulb get a slightly brownish look to them. This works great as a side dish to any mediterranean or italian dish.
  10. Paleo or Keto Deviled Eggs – If you save your bacon fat (which I hope you do!) this is one of those dishes where your reserve will come into good use. Hard boil 6 eggs & let them cool in ice water. Then, peel and halve the eggs, set the yolk into a separate bowl. Mix the yolks with 2 Tbsp bacon fat and 2 Tbsp. regular mayo. Mix in 2 Tbsp. mustard, a pinch of salt and some pepper. Whip the mixture until it’s kind of light and fluffy. Then, evenly fill the little pockets of each halved egg white with the mixture. Top with paprika and crumbled bacon. Yum!

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